We cook a lot in our house. Of course we do – there are six of us. A Mum,
a Dad, and four sons ranging from four years to thirteen. We roast chickens, boil the bones for stock
and actually use said stock for soup. We knead our own pizza dough, peel our
own carrots and bake fish in tin foil. But, we’re normal too. Our kids, as well
as eating healthy dinners, guzzle Nutella like drunks at closing time and would sell their souls off for a pack of purple Chewits. And if we ever buy crisps
they are greedily hoovered up, gone before the rest of the shopping is put
away.
What I am trying to say is that we eat quite well. Pizza deliveries and
Chinese takeaways are not weekly things in our house. We don’t eat tonnes of
biscuits, although we do eat some, and our children can name most vegetables.
And yet, since our parenting
years began, the only restaurant we have ever comfortably eaten in was McDonalds.
And even now that our youngest is no longer a toddler, it’s still the only
place I think there is any point in spending our money. A four year old doesn’t
sit still or wait any length of time. His siblings also needs a considerable
amount of wriggle room and while they will not always knock over an uncovered
cup, they will nearly do so many
times. This is not something I am willing to pay the privilege to watch. When
you think about it, those Macdonalds lids give
you an extra millisecond or two to save a knocked cup, before the spill
actually happens. My goodness, how wonderful is that?
It’s not that they adore the food –although they nearly always finish
what we order. It’s the speed in which we are served in and the surroundings
that tolerate noise, movement and the normal bustle that comes with a few
children. Mine can move around without me constantly saying “mind!” The chairs
don’t tip over, there’s no tablecloth to pull on and no knives and forks to
send clattering to the floor. I am making them sound quite feral – maybe they
are – but I think their behaviour is average for Irish children.
When I am in a restaurant, I need to be able to relax long enough to
swallow my food and, for more than two seconds at a time, move my eyes away
from my children. And they in turn need to be able to swap seats, swap back,
wriggle, sit on their knees, stare at the people at the next table and sing
quietly. I don’t mean loud enough to disturb other people, but they need to be
able to behave like children.
Another bonus of this much vilified and yet continually profitable chain
is that I can order just a latte for myself along with their meals. And why
not? I am paying for both after all. No one at MacDonald’s queries this or says
“ONLY a latte for you? No food?”
Nor do they carry piping hot
plates to the people behind us, while our kids bounce excitedly in their seats,
narrowly missing being burned. (I brought my then four year old son to a pizza
restaurant once and he burnt his fingers on his own plate. Yes, a children’s
meal was brought to the table on a scalding plate.)
Actually in recent years, if a MacDonalds employee approaches us at all,
it is to clean our table, deliver some food or pass around balloons. (I know,
those balloons on sticks are such a pain, but my youngest loves them.)
To be honest, I feel that in restaurants and cafes in Ireland
There’s free parking just outside the door - in every MacDonalds – we
take it for granted now but isn’t it nice not to think of parking for
once? Surely I’m not the only person for whom the thought of circling for a
space in a full car makes me want to cry? And looking for change for meters
with hungry children breathing over my shoulder? I’m tired even thinking about
it.
The fact that the food is grossly unhealthy and proven to rapidly
deteriorate ones health is sadly, immaterial. We don’t eat in MacDonalds every
week. But we do every time we need to eat out.
So, am I alone? Is there some fantastic child friendly, good value,
healthy place I’m missing? If so, let me know!
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